The Subtle Pull of Pornography

In a troubled and struggling American economy, there is one industry that seems to be in no danger of loss of revenue. And that would be the business of pornography. According to Family Safe Media, the porn industry generated over 13 billion in profits for 2006. If that doesn't shock you, that is more than the COMBINED revenue of Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix and EarthLink for that year!

Some other startling statistics:

- There are 4.2 million pornographic websites, which is 12% of total websites.

- Almost 43% of Internet users view porn on a regular basis.

- 20% of men admit to accessing pornography at work.

- 90% of 8-16 year olds having viewed porn online, most while doing their homework.

- Every second, $3,075.64 is being spent on and 28,258 Internet users are viewing porn.

- Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created in the United States.

If these statistics are unsettling for you, they should be. So how did such a generally frowned upon practice become so commonplace within American culture? The website, Breaking Free, recently wrote about the history of porn within human civilization. From drawings on cave walls to the invention of the Gutenberg Press to the photographic camera to movies, Playboy and VCR's to the present Internet age, makers of pornography have remained on the cutting edge of technology in order to offer their product to an all-too-willing public.

Sadly, Christians often find themselves caught in the web of pornography as well. According to that same Family Safe Media study mentioned earlier, 53% of men involved with Promise Keepers viewed porn within the last week. And porn is not just affecting men. In a poll conducted by ChristaNet.com, 20% of Christian women are addicted to pornography.

Because of the widespread use of the Internet and the ease of accessing pornography, even unintentionally, a growing number of people are developing addictive patterns to porn that are affecting their personal lives, families and work. Were it not for addressing my own struggles in this area shortly after entering adulthood, I shudder to think of where it could have led.

I know too many Christian men that are truly seeking to live a godly life affected by this issue to think that any of us are immune from this struggle. Even those of us that serve in vocational Christian ministry are affected. In fact, a couple of courageous Christian artists, Clay Crosse and Kirk Franklin, have been vocal about their own struggles with porn and the healing that God has brought in their life with this issue.

So why does porn get so many into its grip? Walter Kendrick, author of The Secret Museum: Pornography in Modern Culture, has this to say:

"Pornography is always unsatisfied. It’s always a substitute for the contact between two bodies, so there’s a drive behind it that doesn’t exist in other genres. Pornographers have been the most inventive and resourceful users of whatever medium comes along because they and their audience have always wanted innovations. Pornographers are excluded from the mainstream channels, so they look around for something new, and the audience has a desire to try any innovation that gives them greater realism or immediacy."

A casual look at a magazine can lead to perusal on the Internet which can lead to videos and then onto strip clubs and even prostitutes. It is a never ending cycle once the claws of porn have gripped your mind and heart. Like any other addiction, those in bondage to pornography need help from others to find deliverance and healing. If you're someone that is currently struggling with an addiction to porn, I encourage you to read this article by Gene McConnell or visit Pure Online. Then talk to someone you trust that can aid you getting the help you need. If there is not someone in your life that you feel like you can talk to, feel free to shoot me a message.

When the Majority Becomes the Minority

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the changing demographics within America and the increasing ethnic and cultural diversity that is taking place as a result. For those of us that are part of the majority culture, we need to realize that the frequency of situations where we are the only white person in the room will increase.

Many might not experience this much now and, for some, it may take decades. But it is happening. I was recently sent a report from a white, American missionary that spent some time at a conference for Asian American students. Here was what he experienced:

"One of the things I became keenly aware of this past weekend is that I was one of a few white people in the midst of the Asian-American crowd. I could “feel” that something was different. While I have experienced the same sort of scenario when I have gone to Asian countries, this was totally different. In a foreign country you expect it. At home you do not expect to be a minority (at least I don’t) so it really played with my mind bit.

Even though I was surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ, I still felt like an outsider, like I don’t fit. I found myself often standing in meetings while people were mingling, or in the lobby and no one initiated with me, even though my clearly displayed name tag signified that I was part of the conference.

Now, as an adult I knew what was going on. I was indeed NOT part of the crowd, not an “insider.” While I did experience feeling a bit lonely, and uncared for, I processed it like an adult and realized it was nothing personal. They were not trying to ignore or marginalize me, . . . I really was the outsider wanting to be a part. So it often took initiating on my part to actually connect with people.

This was very eye opening as it helped me experience what others who are minorities feel when the situation is reversed and they are the outsider, the minority in the group. I understood how people could feel like others just don’t care. I knew they did care at the conference, but a less mature person…might not process things the same way and walk away feeling hurt.

I believe my experience will help me be more aware of the new person, the visitor, or the minority student who steps in to our midst and to go out of my way to connect with them and help them to feel welcomed and wanted.

It was a great learning experience for me!"

One of the best things that those of us in the majority culture can experience is to spend some time immersed in another culture -- even right within our home country. Since I spend much of my time within African American environments (and have for close to a dozen years), I am fairly used to it and feel pretty comfortable in that setting. But I've also been in places where I'm the only person in a crowd of Hispanics or Asians. Although I enjoy the people, I am not as "at home" in those settings. My Spanish is limited and I feel like an outsider when others are communicating in a way that I can only gather bits and pieces of what they are saying. I've been in Asian restaurants where I'm not sure about the appropriate way to eat the food and I become particularly self-conscious about whether I'm doing things the right way.

Even though most of these situations can be unsettling, they are usually temporary and I can get back to my comfort zone within an hour or two. But try being in that situation for several days, months or years. Those experiences change you at your core. You can longer dismiss those from "minority" culture as being overly sensitive or easily offended. Once you know what it's like to be the only person that looks like you in the room, your appreciation for the experience of others grows tremendously.

J. Oswald Sanders on Leadership

I've recently been re-reading J. Oswald Sanders classic book, Spiritual Leadership. Although it is over forty years old, Spiritual Leadership still offers valuable insight on leadership from a Christian perspective. Sanders strikes a fitting balance between the qualities of leadership that can be learned and those that are God-given. He offers the following questions to ask ourselves in order to assess the natural qualities of leadership we possess:

1. Have you ever broken a bad habit? To lead others, you must master your appetites.

2. Do you keep self-control when things go wrong? The leader who loses control under adversity forfeits respect and influence. A leader must be calm in crisis and resilient in disappointment.

3. Do you think independently? A leaders must use the best ideas of others to make decisions. A leader cannot wait for others to make up his or her mind.

4. Can you handle criticism? Can you profit from it? The humble person can learn from petty criticism, even malicious criticism?

5. Can you turn disappointment into creative new opportunity?

6. Do you readily gain the cooperation of others and win their respect and confidence?

7. Can you exert discipline without making a power play? True leadership is an internal quality of the spirit and needs no show of external force.

8. Are you a peacemaker? A leader must be able to reconcile with opponents and make peace where arguments have created hostility.

9. Do people trust you with difficult and delicate situations?

10. Can you induce people to do happily some legitimate thing that they would not normally with to do?

11. Can you accept opposition to your viewpoint or decision without taking offense? Leaders always face opposition.

12. Can you make and keep friends? Your circle of loyal friends is an index of your leadership potential.

13. Do you depend on the praise of others to keep you going? Can you hold steady in the face of disapproval and even temporary loss of confidence?

14. Are you at ease int he presence of strangers? Do you get nervous in the presence of your superior?

15. Are the people who report to you generally at ease? A leader should be sympathetic and friendly.

16. Are you interested in people? All types? All races? No prejudice?

17. Are you tactful? Can you anticipate how your words will affect a person?

18. Is your will strong and steady? Leaders cannot vacillate or cannot drift with the wind.

19. Can you forgive? Or do you nurse resentments and harbor ill-feelings toward those who have injured you?

20. Are you reasonably optimistic? Pessimism and leadership do not mix.

21. Do you feel a master passion such as that of Paul, who said, "This one thing I do!" Such a singleness of motive will focus your energies and powers on the desired objective. Leaders need a strong focus.

22. Do you welcome responsibility?

These are some great reminders of what we can look at within ourselves to see how we may be doing as leaders -- at home, at work, at church or wherever we find ourselves. When I look at this list I'm reminded of some of my "gaps" and where I need to continue to be intentional about developing myself. The age-old question is, "Are leaders born or made?" I think the answer is a little of both. Some people just possess qualities to be an A-level leader - qualities that are difficult to learn.

In a similar way, when it comes to basketball, not everybody can be Michael Jordan. But even Michael Jordan had to develop his God-given ability to become the player he became. Without practice and hard work, he never would have made the NBA, much less perform on the level he did. So even if we don't possess the natural gifts of a Jordan, we might be able to become a decent ball player if we practice and work on our game. Leadership is no different. Not everyone is an Abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King, Jr. But we can develop those qualities we do have into greater assets.