Weekly Web Roundup (5/20/17)

Photo Credit: sheldon0531

Here is a collection of items from around the web that caught my attention this past week:

A conversation with Andy Crouch about family and technology from Russell Moore

In this episode of the Signposts podcast, Dr. Moore offers an enlightening conversation with author Andy Crouch. They discuss how parents can create healthy boundaries with their children regarding technology use.

Standing Rock changed how I see America by W. Kamau Bell (CNN)

"I can't imagine what it must be like to be one of the indigenous people of the United States of America. I can't imagine watching the news every day -- as people debate whose country this is and who should be in charge of it and how to make it great again -- and hardly ever see your people brought into the discussion. As a black person in this country, I am always frustrated by the lack of attention my people's issues get. But at least the news and politicians are talking about not talking about our issues. Native issues are basically ignored."

Jesus, the Frybread of Life by Deborah Pardo-Kaplan (Christianity Today)

Here's a great profile of the work of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IV) as it pertains to Native American college students. Cru's Native ministry -- Nations -- partners closely with IV and is mentioned in the article.

My Family’s Slave by Alex Tizon (The Atlantic)

"She was 18 years old when my grandfather gave her to my mother as a gift, and when my family moved to the United States, we brought her with us. No other word but slave encompassed the life she lived. Her days began before everyone else woke and ended after we went to bed. She prepared three meals a day, cleaned the house, waited on my parents, and took care of my four siblings and me. My parents never paid her, and they scolded her constantly. She wasn’t kept in leg irons, but she might as well have been. So many nights, on my way to the bathroom, I’d spot her sleeping in a corner, slumped against a mound of laundry, her fingers clutching a garment she was in the middle of folding."

Why People Fight Online (The Barna Group)

"“Our most fraught conversations seem to have moved from the dinner table to the screen,” says Roxanne Stone, editor in chief at Barna Group. “However there are very few rules of etiquette in place for the internet yet. Where once family members could put a stop to an argument with a cry of ‘no religion or politics at the table!’ the digital world does everything to encourage such debates. And, of course, it’s a lot easier to be an anonymous jerk to a stranger than it is to yell at your mom. “Yet, there is a real person on the other end of that comment and online bullying has proven to be a truly destructive force,” says Stone. “The number of teen suicides attributed to it is but one extreme and horrifying example of its potency. Our level of civility and straight-up kindness should not be dependent on whether we are physically with a person or whether we know them. It’s easy to disembody the messages we read online and imagine our own posts are simply going out into an indifferent void. But real people are really hurt by the things said about and against them online."

The Blessing of Conflict by Chanequa Walker-Barnes (Collegeville Institute)

"The therapeutic definition of conflict is simple: a difference of opinion between two or more people. In this sense, conflict was not inherently bad; in fact, it was evidence of the family’s capacity to allow and cope with self-differentiation among its members. In a healthy family system, members have both a strong sense of group cohesion as well as clearly developed individual identities. The way in which families managed the dinner exercise told us something about that. On this task, a healthy family was one in which people offered different ideas about what they wanted, and then they worked through it to agree upon a menu that accommodated some, although not necessarily all, of those differences."

This Is All of Us - Mandy, Milo, Sterling and Chrissy Surprise Fans

NBC's "This is Us" became one of my favorite shows this past year. This video shows the stars of the show unexpectedly surprising fans of the show.

Weekly Web Roundup (5/13/17)

Photo Credit: aka Quique

Here is a collection of items from around the web that caught my attention the past couple of weeks:

How to Raise an American Adult by Ben Sasse (The Wall Street Journal)

"We all know the noun adult. But I was perplexed last year to hear the new verb to adult. In social media, especially on Twitter and Instagram, it birthed a new hashtag: #adulting. As in: “Just paid this month’s bills on time #adulting,” or “Decided I couldn’t watch Netflix 8 hours straight and went to the grocery store instead #adulting.” It even got a nomination from the American Dialect Society for the most creative word of 2015. “Adulting” is an ironic way to describe engaging in adult behaviors, like paying taxes or doing chores—the sort of mundane tasks that responsibility demands. To a growing number of Americans, acting like a grown-up seems like a kind of role-playing, a mode of behavior requiring humorous detachment. Let me be clear: This isn’t an old man’s harrumph about “kids these days.” I still remember Doc Anderson standing in the street in 1988, yelling at me to slow down as I drove through his neighborhood in our small Nebraska town. I was 16 and couldn’t stand that guy. Years later, when I had children of my own, I returned to thank him. Maturation."

Teams in Mission: Are They Worth It? by David Sedlacek (The Exchange: Christianity Today)

"Teamwork has been a popular concept in missions theory and practice for decades, but there is a persistent sense among missionaries that teams may be more work than they are worth. Working alongside others, especially those of different cultures, is no easy task. It takes time, effort, and energy to work in a team, and it doesn’t always produce the fruit we look for. We’ve all heard this comment: our younger generation values teamwork, but the older generation doesn’t get it. Twenty-five years ago, as a member of the new generation of missionaries, I nodded my head in agreement. I thought, Yes, we value teamwork and the older generation doesn’t get it. Today, I am a member of the “older” generation. When I hear the familiar refrain, I’m tempted to respond, “Yes, the younger generation values teamwork, and we don’t get it.”"

Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable by Seth Stephens-Davidowitz (The New York Times)

"Friends have always showed off to friends. People have always struggled to remind themselves that other people don’t have it as easy as they claim. Think of the aphorism quoted by members of Alcoholics Anonymous: “Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.” Of course, this advice is difficult to follow. We never see other people’s insides. I have actually spent the past five years peeking into people’s insides. I have been studying aggregate Google search data. Alone with a screen and anonymous, people tend to tell Google things they don’t reveal to social media; they even tell Google things they don’t tell to anybody else. Google offers digital truth serum. The words we type there are more honest than the pictures we present on Facebook or Instagram."

Reflections on the Meaning of Home by Scott Sauls

"Recently, our oldest daughter graduated from high school. To commemorate her accomplishment, Patti and I wrote her long Letters from Mom and Dad. In those letters, we walked down memory lane reflecting upon and getting nostalgic about her eighteen years of life. As we reminisced, it dawned on both of us that, while we gave the girl opportunities, we never gave the girl roots…at least not with respect to place. To date, she has lived in seven different homes and attended eight different schools in five different cities. Contemplating the quasi-nomadic upbringing that we imposed on our daughter, Patti wrote in her Letter from Mom, “I am so so so sorry…and you’re welcome.” 

The “I’m sorry” part makes good sense. Moving of any kind is disorienting, especially in childhood. It uproots a child from friends, teachers, neighborhoods and familiar spaces. It digs a hole in the heart, uprooting and re-rooting like that. For better or for worse, our daughter’s story has become the same as mine. It’s a story with no lifelong friends or neighbors or houses from childhood. Instead, it’s the story of a traveler. What good could come from seven homes and eight schools and five cities in eighteen years? Why on earth would my wife feel compelled to say “You’re welcome” right after saying “I’m so so so sorry” to our daughter? I believe it’s because regret and hope don’t have to be mutually exclusive."

A Theology of Race

Here's a helpful video from Jemar Tisby on what the Bible means when it refers to race or, more appropriately, ethnicity.

Weekly Web Roundup (2/25/17)

Photo Credit: Marco Nürnberger

Here is a collection of items from around the web that caught my attention this past week:

In the time you spend on social media each year, you could read 200 books by Charles Chu (Quartz)

"Here’s the simple truth behind reading a lot of books: It’s not that hard. We have all the time we need. The scary part—the part we all ignore—is that we are too addicted, too weak, and too distracted to do what we all know is important… All it takes to start reading a lot more is to take “empty time” spent Twitter-stalking celebrities or watching Desperate Housewives and convert some of it to reading time. The theory is simple. It’s the execution that’s hard."

Why Your Denomination Is Segregated (Christianity Today)

"Not all denominations’ equally reached enslaved people with their message, says Eric Washington, a history professor at Calvin College. The “stodgy” and “erudite” tradition of Anglicanism didn’t resonate as broadly—although former Methodist Absalom Jones was ordained as the first African American Episcopalian priest by the end of the 18th century. In contrast, many African slaves were drawn to Methodism’s theological emphasis on born-again conversions and total depravity and its preachers’ open-air, multiethnic services, says Washington. “[In Methodism,] there was no education requirement to be an exhorter or lay preacher,” said Washington, who is also the director of Calvin’s African and African Diaspora Studies. “So enslaved men who had a recognized gift to preach or exhort—they were encouraged in that.”"

Being Prophetic Without Being a Self-Righteous Know-It-All by Dennis R. Edwards (Missio Alliance)

"Being a prophet often means being rejected—for what one says and does for God, not for being a jerk! Furthermore, biblical prophets were known as godly people. That same Elijah is hailed as an example of one who knew how to pray (Jas 5:17). God constantly reminds me of the importance of cultivating an inner life that glorifies God. I know I will never pray well enough or fast consistently enough, or spend enough time in silence, or meditate enough…but I’ll keep trying. It was when Elijah was depressed that he took a pilgrimage to Mt. Horeb and heard God’s gentle voice. Prophets hear from God as we pursue God."

The Single Voice (Yo Soy Kristy)

"What this means is that as ministry leaders seek to diversify their organizations-with speakers at conferences, VP’s on executive teams, or simply diverse leadership at all levels- they tend to only want ONE person from certain ethnic groups to be their token minority. What this creates is a scarcity mentality among minorities who are all vying for that one space. It ends up pitting women of color against one another. Rather than fighting to make room for more of us, we often quietly shut the leadership door behind us, secretly glad we got the spotlight for that moment."

Give Your Kids the Gift of Absence by Amy Julia Becker (Christianity Today)

"Jesus sent his disciples out into the villages without him so they could learn about leadership, make mistakes, and return to him to learn more. As parents, we too can send our kids out into the backyard, the neighborhood, or the woods so they can make mistakes and grow. We can send them to school with incomplete homework, send them to our friends to talk through problems, and, when our own resources prove inadequate, send them to the church (and other communities) for equipping."

Weekly Web Roundup (2/11/17)

Photo Credit: Moinikon

Here is a collection of items from around the web that caught my attention this past week:

Why Christian Kids Leave the Faith by Tim Challies

"For some people Christianity is outright rejected and replaced by an alternate system of beliefs. For others, though, Christianity is merely displaced by competing passions, concerns, or emphases. They may commit themselves to success in business and allow religion to take a back seat, or they may passionately pursue sports and find it more exciting and fulfilling than their faith. Some endure times of trial or torment and in the midst of those troubles find their faith has fallen by the wayside. In either case, faith, once an important part of their life, falls in significance until it fades far into the background. It’s less that these people reject their faith and more that they lose interest in it or even forget about it."

Getting My Friend Back 25 Years Later by Joshua Rogers

This is a touching story of how a grown man was spurred on by his young daughters to make an effort to reconnect with his estranged best friend from middle school. Get your tissues ready.

Thoughts on Sharing our Stories by Marilyn Gardner (A Life Overseas)

"The person who has read a book cannot claim experiential knowledge. A person who has spent ten days on a cruise ship and has visited nine ports in those ten days is hardly an expert on every country where they have stopped. Yet they sometimes claim to be. The person who has gone on a short-term mission or volunteer trip needs to be careful to tell their story with integrity and honesty, not as an expert, but as a learner. It is easy to make broad assessments of places and people based on a limited view and a single story. At the same time, when we travel and when we live in places, we do experience the world through a different lens, and we do want to communicate those experiences. Much of my life is a learning process of how to communicate what I have experienced and be fair and wise within that communication."

The Headache and Hope of Multi-Ethnic Ministry by Adam Mabry (The Gospel Coalition)

"I’m not saying every church has to meet some false standard of diversity. Nor am I suggesting churches mostly composed of one ethnic group are bad. Yet if any church isn’t concerned with the other tribes—unconcerned to reach them, to know them, and to be known by them—how is that not the same kind of self-preferential partiality of which Peter was guilty? We carry the lunch tray of our cultural preferences to the table filled with persons like us because we just don’t want the headache of dealing with the other."

A Timeline of Black Christianity Before the Civil War by A.G. Miller (Christianity Today)

Here is an interesting timeline of some of the key moments of African American history as it relates to Christianity.

How Children Learn Who’s In And Who’s Out by Natasha Sistrunk Robinson (The Redbud Post)

"As an African American child, my mother taught me about race. She didn’t teach me so I would hate the other. She taught me so I would be informed, so I could better understand history and attempt to process why someone might think differently, and so I would have examples of what was and is a righteous response to hateful people. From her teaching and example, I learned my responsibility to educate myself and to advocate on behalf of others. As an African American parent of an African American daughter, this is part of the teaching and training that takes place in my home. Education about racial injustices is a necessity for her survival, and it was a necessity for mine. That’s why my mother taught me, that’s why I teach my daughter, and why I don’t want her to be colorblind."

Jennie Allen and the Longterm Impact of College Ministry by Tim Casteel

"College Ministers: What you are doing matters. Meeting with hundreds of disinterested freshmen to find a handful that want to know Jesus and make Him known. Turning over a multitude of rocks to find one or two gems. Teaching students how and why to read God’s Word. Discipling students who will make disciples. We rarely get to see the fruit of what we so laboriously sow. Students graduate and get married and get jobs and move off. And we go back to meeting with hundreds of disinterested freshmen to find a handful…"

Weekly Web Roundup (1/14/17)

Photo Credit: misha maslennikov

Here is a collection of items from around the web that caught my attention this past week:

The 5 (Unwritten) Rules of Honor-Shame Cultures  (HonorShame.com)

"In collectivistic societies, identity is defined by the group you belong to. When two people meet, one of the first items of conversation is figuring out which family, clan, or village the other person is from. Since honor is a shared commodity, what one person does brings honor (or shame) upon the entire community. Children are taught from an early age how to bring honor to the family, and people are expected to be loyal to their community, even at personal cost. In Western cultures, family is much more of a voluntary association. At the age of 18 or so, young adults are encouraged to venture out from the home to “find themselves” or “establish their own lives.”"

How to Destroy Your Child Through Sports by Ed Uszynski (Athletes in Action)

"In spite of mini-movements of outcry regarding poor parent and coach behavior at youth events and the intense pressure being put on kids to perform, many of us seem committed to staying on a course that ruins our children’s ability to enjoy games. Instead of sports being experienced as something good, a category called “play” that God created for our good and His glory, too often we use our kids’ playground to exorcise our own demons. 

In more than 25 years of listening to athletes from youth to professional levels process their experience of sports, I’ve learned that these parental behaviors can be counted on not only to ruin their experience of play, but also to create multi-layered psychological and spiritual maladies that stick throughout life."

9 Steps to More Ethical Fundraising (A Life Overseas: The Mission Conversation)

"We were doing all the things we were taught to do—pray, write newsletters, make calls, send letters, schedule meetings—but after two years, we felt stuck. We were at about 50% of our goal and couldn’t seem to make any traction. One day, I just felt I needed to do something to make a statement to our potential supporters that we were as serious about this as we possibly could be and that we held them and their potential donations in the highest esteem. So I decided to write down the ways in which we were committing to respect them and their sacrifice. 

I called this our “Fundraising Code of Ethics.” To me, it was a public covenant we were making to hold ourselves to a standard of maturity, transparency, and responsibility. By making it public, we were welcoming our supporters to hold us to this standard, but we also warned them we would never have a perfect record and asked them to be gracious with us. Like every healthy relationship, trust is absolutely crucial. We are all aware if donors trust you they are more likely to support you. What we learned is that we also need to have enough faith in our supporters to be transparent with them."

Racial Divides in Spiritual Practice (The Barna Group)

"Black communities tend toward communal rhythms of spiritual development while white communities prefer a more individualistic setting. It is unsurprising therefore that white Christians are more likely to view their spiritual life as “entirely private” (42% compared to 32%). Black Christians, on the other hand, are much more likely to believe their personal spiritual life has an impact on others—whether they are relatives, friends, community or society at large. For instance, black Christians are much more likely to believe that their personal spiritual lives have an impact on broader society (46% compared to 27%). 

This was a strong belief of Martin Luther King, and it appears to have had great staying power. He fundamentally believed that one’s personal spiritual life had implications for societal justice, and he called Christians—on both sides of the debate—to bring their faith to bear on the struggle for civil rights, to which he dedicated his life. This impact is also tied to the approach to evangelism: half of black Christians (50% compared to 34%) believe it is their responsibility to tell others about their religious beliefs, further reinforcing the public / private contrast between both groups."

The Longstanding Crisis Facing Tribal Schools by Alia Wong (The Atlantic)

"Children who are disciplined in school are far more likely to end up in prison as adults; it goes without saying that being disciplined as a child via formal law enforcement has similarly deleterious, if not worse, effects. The alleged practices at Havasupai Elementary are, the suit contends, characteristic of those at tribal schools across the country. Indeed, a March 2014 U.S. Department of Education report found that Native Americans across the country are disciplined at disproportionate rates. Unsurprisingly, they’re also incarcerated at a rate 38 percent higher than the national average."

Repealing Obamacare without a Replacement: How It May Hurt Small Church Pastors and Church Planters Near You by Ed Stetzer (Christianity Today)

"I’m not defending Obamacare, it’s success, and certainly not its implementation. And, furthermore, this is not just about pastors—it impacts a whole lot of people in your church (and not in your church). But, I’ve talked to a lot of pastors about this topic, so I’ve made that my focus here. In short, the point here is that big policies aren’t simply big policies. And when they appear (or actually are) broken, there isn’t a simple answer. Big policies impact real people. A plan approved by Congress impacts millions of everyday, hard-working people. And I’ve only focused on one group here, small church pastors and church planters, since I have often heard about this from church planters. Actually, I have spoken in conferences on this very topic: how the ACA has opened the door for many church planters to get insurance."

Twin Sisters Separated at Birth Reunite on Good Morning America

Two sisters, each adopted from China by different American families, meet in person for the first time on ABC's "Good Morning America." Here is their touching story.

Ruining Our Children Through Sports

Photo Credit: USAG-Humphreys

I read the following headline in our local newspaper this morning:

"REFS CALL LEADS TO BRAWL BETWEEN PARENTS AT HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL GAME."

Intrigued, I read the article.

It seems that a man who was watching his daughter play made a comment about a disagreeable referee's call. The father of a girl on the opposing team told him to "shut up."

The first man called the second man an "idiot" and the second man dared him to "call him an idiot again." The first man accepted the dare and called the other man an idiot for a second time, and the two started wrestling in the gym and punches were thrown. The men continued to fight until someone in the stands pulled them apart.

As a coach of youth sports for many years and a parent of multiple children that have played a number of sports, I know all too well what can happen when the competitive juices get flowing.

Of course most parents simply want to provide an opportunity for their children to play with friends, learn a sport and have fun while getting a little exercise.

But there are some parents that choose to live out their unfulfilled athletic fantasies through their children and put an unbelievable amount of pressure on kids, coaches and referees in order to try to make things go their way.

This article by Ed Uszynski with Athletes in Action offers 8 behaviors that can destroy our children through sports. Ed says this:

"In more than 25 years of listening to athletes from youth to professional levels process their experience of sports, I’ve learned that these parental behaviors can be counted on not only to ruin their experience of play, but also to create multi-layered psychological and spiritual maladies that stick throughout life."

Athletics can be a wonderful part of the life of a child but it can also be a dreaded experience due to poor parenting and coaching.

As a coach, I realize that most players I coach probably won't go very far in their athletic career. Although I have had a few players that have played at the collegiate Division 1 level, most won't advance past their middle school or high school teams when it comes to competitive athletics.

My hope is as my former players grow into adulthood that they will be able to look back upon their experiences in competitive athletics as children and think to themselves, "That was fun. I'm glad I was able to do that. Those were good times."

For my own children that I've coached, my desire for them is that they will have fond memories of having their dad as a coach. It's not always easy, but keeping the end in mind helps a great deal.

Ethnic Minorities Comprise Half of America's Under-5 Age Group

Photo Credit: woodleywonderworks

From Hope Yen of Yahoo News:

"In a first, America's racial and ethnic minorities now make up about half of the under-5 age group, reflecting sweeping changes by race and class among young people. Due to an aging population, non-Hispanic whites last year recorded more deaths than births. 

These two milestones, revealed in 2012 census estimates released Thursday, are the latest signs of a historic shift in which whites will become a minority within a generation, by 2043. They come after the Census Bureau reported last year that whites had fallen to a minority among newborns. 

Fueled by immigration and high rates of birth, particularly among Hispanics, racial and ethnic minorities are growing more rapidly in numbers than whites. The decline in the U.S. white population has been occurring more quickly than expected, resulting in the first "natural decrease" for whites — deaths exceeding births — in more than a century, census data show. For now, the non-Hispanic white population continues to increase slightly, but only because of immigration from Europe. 

Based on current rates of growth, whites in the under-5 group are expected to fall below 50 percent this year or next, said Thomas Mesenbourg, the Census Bureau's acting director. 

"This is the tipping point presaging the gradual decline of the white population, which will be a signature demographic trend of this century," said William H. Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution. "More so than ever, we need to recognize the importance of young minorities for the growth and vitality of our labor force and economy." 

The imminent tip to a white minority among young children adds a racial dimension to government spending on early-childhood education, such as President Barack Obama's proposal to significantly expand pre-K for lower-income families. The nation's demographic changes are already stirring discussion as to whether some civil rights-era programs, such as affirmative action in college admissions, should be retooled to focus more on income than on race and ethnicity. The Supreme Court will rule on the issue this month. 

The government projects that in five years, minorities will make up more than half of children under 18."

To read the complete article please click here.

How The Internet Helped One Imaginative Boy's Dream Come True

Caine is an intelligent and creative elementary school student. The nine-year-old boy built a cardboard arcade at his father's used car parts store in east Los Angeles and was "open for business." The only problem was that none of his dad's customers took him seriously. That is, of course, until one day a gentleman who played some games in Caine's arcade decided to tell his friends on the Internet about it.

Watch the video to see more of the story...



(h/t to my friend Dave Smyth for the link.)

Unhappy Kids Tend To Be More Materialistic

Photo Credit: royalconstantinesociety

From The Times Herald:

"Unhappy kids are more likely to become materialistic than children who are happy with their lives, a new study from the Netherlands suggests." 

Children who were less satisfied with their lives do become more materialistic over time, but only when they are frequently exposed to advertising," said study lead author Suzanna Opree. "Advertising seems to teach children that possessions are a way to increase happiness."

It's a significant finding because research with adults suggests that materialistic children may become less happy later in life, said Opree, a research associate at the University of Amsterdam School of Communication Research. The study, published online August 20 and in the September print issue of Pediatrics, involved 466 children in October 2006 and October 2007. 

The researchers advise parents to help kids focus on other sources of happiness, such as love, friendship and play. Intervening early might prevent a cycle of unhappiness and materialism in adulthood, study author Opree said." 

"And he [Jesus] said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” ~ Luke 12:15 (ESV)

Tips From Children On What Makes A Good Dad

h/t to God's Politics

Ethnic Minorities Now The Majority of U.S. Births

Photo Credit: alles-schlumpf

From USA Today:

"More than half of all babies born last year were members of minority groups, the first time in U.S. history. It's a sign of how swiftly the USA is becoming a nation of younger minorities and older whites. 

Hispanics, blacks, Asians and other minorities in 2011 accounted for 50.4% of births, 49.7% of all children under 5 and slightly more than half of the 4 million kids under 1, the Census Bureau reports today. 

The nation's growing diversity has huge implications for education, economics and politics. "Children are in the vanguard of this transition," says Kenneth Johnson, a demographer at the University of New Hampshire's Carsey Institute. 

In all, minorities had 5.9% fewer babies last year than in 2010, but births among non-Hispanic whites fell even more, down 10.1%, Johnson says. A key reason: A greater share of the minority population is of child-bearing age. 

The new report offers a broad picture of where and how the nation is changing. One telling sign: vast differences in the median age — the mid-point of all ages — of racial and ethnic groups. For Hispanics, the USA's largest minority group, the median age is 27.6. For whites who are not Hispanic, it's 42.3. Blacks (30.9) and Asians (33.2) are in between."

To read the complete article please click here.

How Will The Next Generation Be Known?

Photo Credit: San Jose Library

My parents' generation is known as the Baby Boomers. I'm a member of Generation X. Those that came after me are called the Millennials. But how will my children's generation be referred?

From USA Today:

"But exactly what do you call a generation of techno-junkies? How about Generation Wii — after the wildly popular home video game console? Or, perhaps, the iGeneration — with a wink and nod to Apple's iPod and iPhone? Both are in the running. So are a bunch of other tech-drenched monikers, including Gen Tech, Digital Natives and, of course, Net Gen.

"Everyone wants to be the first to come up with the name," says Cheryl Russell, dubbed the goddess of demography at New Strategist Publications, who is one of several with claims to have coined the term iGeneration, which she says she created three years ago. "It's cool — and you gain credibility."

The more important question: What does one generation have to gain — or lose — from the name with which it's tagged? Certainly, no one wants to be linked to a generation of deadbeats or lowlifes. Little wonder those names have never risen to the top of any generational list. None officially dubbed Pathetic Generation — at least, not yet. But some might call Gen Z — a term still in-the-running for the next generation — rather off-putting. If Boomers felt a sense of common strength, Millennials may have felt a sense of shared destination. Ultimately, a generational name reflects its hope or pessimism. 

"Generational labels don't always reflect reality," says psychology professor and generational writer Jean Twenge. "Often, they reflect the hopes of what people want a generation to be."

The world that my children is growing up in is much different than the reality in which I was raised. Technology plays a much more important role as access to information and the ability to communicate much more readily has dramatically affected our lifestyles and choices. In addition, the increasing ethnic diversity and religious pluralism greatly influences how we view our world and those different from ourselves.

My hope for my children (and those of their generation) is that they are able to leverage technology to make a difference in the world and not merely for vain pursuits. My desire is that the diversity that surrounds them would enable them to relate to others in a more compassionate manner than those of us of earlier eras often have.

My dream is that they would become known as a generation of people that selflessly give of themselves so that others would be able to find a life that can't be attained merely through advanced technology or fancy gadgets. It is a life that is discovered through an encounter with our Creator. And all of the things that this next generation will be known for -- a strong sense of community,  a desire for service to others, technological adeptness -- can be used for God's glory. That brings me great hope -- no matter what they may end up being called.

What The Kony 2012 Video Got Right

Photo Credit: k-ideas

A couple of weeks ago, most of us didn't know who Joseph Kony was, nor were we aware of all that has been going on in Uganda and the surrounding African countries in recent years. But due to a clever marketing effort and a well-made video, tens of millions of people were exposed to a campaign "to end Africa's longest-running armed conflict." (~ from Invisible Children)

The Kony 2012 video, which was uploaded to YouTube on March 5, 2012, has over 81,000,000 YouTube views as of this post. That is a staggering number for a video that has only been up for less than two weeks.

Since this video went viral, there has been a number of concerns raised about the Kony 2012 efforts. Questions have been brought forth concerning the veracity of the facts presented in the video, where the money is going that is raised and whether this approach is the best way to help the people of that region of Africa.

Since I don't know enough about Invisible Children or the current realities in the areas which Kony's reach has spread, I won't attempt to pontificate on this organization or the work being done in Uganda and nearby countries. I will leave that to those that are much more familiar with the situation than I am.

What I would like to do is draw out some principles from the video for those of that serve in the non-profit world and consider how those principles might apply to the work that we do.

Here is what I think the Kony 2012 video got right:

1. A need is exposed. People are being killed. Children are being enlisted to fight in the army at a young age. Terror is ravaging a country. These were the types of things that were highlighted in the video. We live in a world of injustice and sin and surfacing a specific need in a specific place for a specific people captures the heart of those that care about wrongs in the world. 

2. The need is personalized. Filmmaker Jason Russell, who narrated the film, introduces us to his son Gavin and shares some of the story through his eyes. He then lets us meet Jacob, a Ugandan young man whose family has been affected by Kony's army. For those of us on another continent, these brutalities may be too distant to really hit home for us. But realizing that it is children that are suffering and to be able to meet one of those children helps our hearts to become engaged in the story. 

3. A solution is offered. Stop Joseph Kony by letting everyone in the world know who he is and what he has done. The video tells us that if Kony (and others like him) can be stopped from the reigns of terror, than children will stop suffering and the world will be a better place for future generations.  

4. People of influence are invited to become part of the solution. Termed in the video as "Culture Makers" and "Policy Makers", key celebrities and politicians are targeted to use their influence to let the world know about the Kony 2012 campaign. By strategically targeting these influential people, the word spreads rapidly, seemingly overnight. 

5. WE are invited to become part of the solution. Buy an action kit and wear a bracelet. Tell some friends. Give a few bucks. Spread the word in your community. The video doesn't just expose the need and offer a solution, it tells us that we can play a part. It tells us that we can change the world if we all do what we can.

The effectiveness of the Kony 2012 campaign has yet to be determined. Mammoth amounts of YouTube views doesn't necessarily result in changing the world. Piano playing cats and double rainbows can tell us that. And the concerns about the video need to be addressed before many people will engage beyond watching the video or tweeting about the campaign.

However, there's much that can be learned with the approach that has been taken here as it relates to whatever cause we are each a part of. That doesn't necessarily mean that we all need to make a slick 30 minute video. But we can apply some of the principles contained in the video for the causes that we feel most passionately about.

Are Big Families More Fun?

My brood of six

It used to be that larger families were the norm. My father's family had six boys. My mom's had three boys and two girls. My wife's mother's family had ten children. But the average family today has 2.1 children.

Families like mine that have more than the national average can seem like a bit of an oddity. On numerous occasions when out in public, we've gotten comments like, "Are those all yours?" or "I don't know how you do it." Which I find kinda funny, 'cause it's not like we're the Duggars or something. Yes, we're outnumbered but that's why God created zone defenses.

The Orlando Sentinel recently examined the pros and cons of big families:

"At a time when our fascination with big families is at a peak and, perhaps not coincidentally, family size is at one of its lowest points — women are having, on average, 2.1 kids — we asked an expert and two large-family moms to help us separate myth from reality: What are the pluses of big families? The minuses? What's the bottom line?

Large families are very diverse, but some frequently mentioned pluses include built-in playmates for your kids, more chances for kids to interact with children of different ages and, well, call it the Pitt factor: fun, joy, general merriment.

On the minus side are fewer resources — whether time or money — per child, less alone time for parents and more noise.

Mary Ostyn, the mother of 10 kids, six adopted, and the author of "A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family" (Gibbs Smith), says she sometimes wishes she had the time and money to enroll her kids in more extracurricular activities.

"None of our kids are going to be world-class gymnasts, but they're going to know how to work hard, to help out, to share and to take care of people younger than themselves," she says. "It comes down to this awesome community that a large family is: For their whole lives, they're going to have this group of people that really understands them."

Psychologists have always assumed that siblings are good for you, because they provide so much support, says Joe Rodgers, a professor of psychology at the University of Oklahoma. But are two, three or four siblings better — or worse — than one?

"The answer is fairly controversial — and fascinating as well," Rodgers says.

On one side are researchers who believe parental resources such as time and money are split among offspring, with children in bigger families getting smaller pieces of the pie.

On the other side are researchers such as Rodgers, who say that's an overly simplistic way of looking at family dynamics; often parents are very good at engaging more than one kid at a time.

"There are all sorts of things, from mealtimes, to vacations, to carpooling, where parents are not dividing up the resources among children, but rather multiplying those resources across children," says Rodgers."

When my wife and I first talked about the number of children we'd like to have, we decided that two, or possibly three would be good. God has blessed us with four. And we wouldn't want it any or way. But that is not to say that smaller families cannot also be great experiences for children. For example, my wife was an only child and I think she turned out alright.

God leads families in different ways. For some, it's not in God's plans for them to have any children. For others, He may want them to have ten children. However big or small each family ends up being, it's important to be grateful for what God has given us and to demonstrate that gratefulness through lives of obedience to Him.

It is true that our children may not get a whole lot when it comes in the way of material things.  As missionaries on a meager salary, our children understand that they are simply not going to be able to have all the things that their friends have.  But we hope that we love them well enough that when they look back on their childhood that they will remember a loving family and not dwell on the temporal stuff they didn't get.

For me, I've come to realize the blessing that children are and I'm thankful that the Lord has entrusted us with four of them. Having a bigger family means less time for self and more sacrifice. In order to make our family work, we have to often put the needs of others above our own and learn how to love unconditionally and forgive quickly.  There are many challenges we face but as I often tell our kids, life before them was quieter, cleaner...and not nearly as fun.

To read the complete Sentinel article please click here.

How Children Can Thrive In Public Schools

Christian parents have a variety of options these days for educating their children. From homeschooling to private schools to charter schools to public schools, I am of the persuasion that there is no "one size fits all" approach to schooling options for Christian parents. We must each seek the Lord on what would be the best approach for our family and trust Him with how He leads us.

For our family, my wife and I have chosen to send our children to public schools. We have been pleased with their teachers, the education they have received and the environment in which they are able to receive their formal education. We know that for some families public schools may not be the best choice but for ours we believe it is.

Tim Challies has written a wonderful review of a new book, Going Public: Your Child Can Thrive in Public School by David & Kelli Pritchard with Dean Merrill. The purpose of the book is to help guide parents that have children in public schools on how to make their children's experience the best possible. Challies says this:

"What the Pritchards do is simple: they allow us into their home and family, telling us why they made the decision to public school and then showing us how they have gone about it. It’s not like they public school out of ignorance. To the contrary, they do what they do out of conviction that this is the way they can best raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. That word “fear” is important to them. Following Proverbs, they say that the fear of the Lord “is the foundation on which all learning, all knowledge-gathering, all schooling should be built.” To do that, they focus on instructing their children from their earliest days in loving the Lord with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength; on learning unconditional obedience to their parents; and on attaining self-control. With these values being instilled in their children, they are ready to guide them through their education.

The most valuable lesson of all, at least in my view, is that public schooling is a family affair. The decision to place children in the public education system is a decision to have the whole family involved in this system. They say, “We should not think in terms of sending our child off by himself to ‘the mission field.’ We go there together. This is a family expedition. When we show up each August to enroll our kids for another school year, we are enrolling our family into the life of this institution. This is a joint venture.” This means that mom and dad are involved not just with the children, but with the school and teachers and leaders.

A second valuable lesson is that is the lesson that all parents are homeschoolers. The Pritchards make it clear that public schooling still calls for the parents to teach their children and to be involved in all that they learn. No good parent can abdicate all of the children’s education to other people.

There are many other lessons, of course. Some of them are broad in application while others are more specific. What I appreciate, though, is that all have come out of the testing ground of their own family. Through it all the Pritchards show their unshakeable belief in the sovereignty of God, their trust in his promises and their heartfelt desire to honor him in all things."

Having our children involved in the public school system can be a wonderful opportunity for Christian parents and families. But so, too, can other schooling options. Raising children in today's society is no easy task but I believe we can trust God to care for children no matter where they receive their formal education.

To read the complete post by Tim Challies please click here.

How to Raise Kids That Don't Have Cross-Cultural Friendships

According to authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, one of the best ways to raise children that don't value friendships with kids that are culturally different than them is to never talk about race. Bronson and Merryman's book, NutureShock: New Thinking About Children, examines commonly assumptions about how parents talk to their children about race.

Jonathan Liu of Wired Magazine comments on the book:

"What Bronson and Merryman discovered, through various studies, was that most white parents don’t ever talk to their kids about race. The attitude (at least of those who think racism is wrong) is generally that because we want our kids to be color-blind, we don’t point out skin color. We’ll say things like “everybody’s equal” but find it hard to be more specific than that. If our kids point out somebody who looks different, we shush them and tell them it’s rude to talk about it. We think that simply putting our kids in a diverse environment will teach them that diversity is natural and good.

And what are they learning? Here are a few depressing facts:

* Only 8% of white American high-schoolers have a best friend of another race. (For blacks, it’s about 15%.)

* The more diverse a school is, the less likely it is that kids will form cross-race friendships.

* 75% of white parents never or almost never talk about race with their kids.

* A child’s attitudes toward race are much harder to alter after third grade, but a lot of parents wait until then (or later) before they feel it’s “safe” to talk frankly about race."

What Bronson and Merryman have found is something that I absolutely agree with. For those of us parents that want to teach our children about equality, it is important that we talk about race. By living in an American society that has been so formed by racial dynamics, we do our children a disservice if we don't address why things are the way they are. But in talking about race, ethnicity and culture, we can talk with our children about the beauty that exists within our diversity.

Many well-meaning parents, especially those of us that are white, never help to educate our children about race. We are uncomfortable in talking about it so our kids our uncomfortable talking about it. And in the process we can unwittingly raise children that are blissful in their ignorance. As they get older and interact with those of other cultures, they are likely to say insensitive, rude or racist things without even intending to because we, as parents, never discussed these things with them (see above photo). Based on my experiences, evangelical Christians can create some of the biggest blunders when it comes to addressing the topic of race.

In addition to talking about race with our children, we as parents who see the value represented in the diversity of God's creation can help our children to value cross-cultural friendships by having these kinds of relationships ourselves. If our children never see us in friendly interactions with those that look different than us then it will be hard for them to value these types of friendships themselves. If they never spend time in the homes with those of other ethnicities (or vice versa), then they likely will not develop these cross-cultural friendships on their own.

The task of parenting is not an easy one but the things that are most important (namely how we view God and others) should not be left for others to educate our own children about. The most valuable type of education takes place in the safety and nurturing environment of the home. And because race plays such a dominant role on so many levels within American culture, this topic certainly needs to be addressed by parents.

[NOTE: The original Wired article is entitled "How to Raise Racist Kids." I chose not to use this same phrase since I don't believe that just because someone does not have friends of another race that they are automatically a racist. They may be uninformed, but that does not make them racist. However, I'm of the persuasion that the likelihood of forming racist attitudes dramatically increases if one has no meaningful friendships of a cross-cultural nature.]

(h/t to Racialicious for the link)

It Takes a Village

From Paul Scott at UrbanFaith.com:

"In 2009 Durham, North Carolina, writer and resident clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer "Dr. Jenn" Rounds-Bryant has flipped the script and released the controversial book It Takes a Village to Raise a Criminal. The book, which is part of her 5 Ugly Facts About Human Behavior series, deals with the issue of why some of our children are failing academically and turning to criminal behavior.
Although most people would assume that Rounds-Bryant would be on the "our cities are full of gangbangers" bandwagon tip in order to push a few books, she notes that only one paragraph deals with gangsta-ism, as it is just a small piece of a bigger problem. Dr. Jenn believes we miss an opportunity to reach youth who are attracted to the street lifestyle when we focus on gang perspectives rather than adolescent youth behavior. She says that this negative behavior doesn't start when middle school kids start rushing home to watch 106 & Park on BET, but it starts at kindergarten age when they should be watching Sesame Street.
According to the book, many of our children are simply not prepared to enter into the school system. In other words, when your 5-year-old cusses Ms. Johnson out for calling him Raymond Johnson Jr. instead of his "real name," "Lil Ray Ray," that could signal a problem that you might want to get a handle on."

You can read the whole post here.

From the Mouths of Babes

As the parent of several young children I have noticed the proliferation of awards, honors and recognition that kids get these days. When I was a kid it seemed like the only awards you got were at the end of the year for things like making the honor roll, perfect attendance or finishing anywhere in the top ten on field day. These days my children have received so many certificates, gift cards and stickers by the end of the year we don't know where to put them all ("Hey Jimmy, you showed up to school today and your fly's not open. Here's a free coupon from Pizza Hut!")

In that vein I saw this humorous story on Christianity Today:

"After school, my five-year-old son Johnathan burst into my office and exclaimed, "Mom, I got a reward today!" I dug through his bookbag crammed with a lunch box, library book, and artwork. Finally, I found the certificate signed by his teacher. "This is a math award," I said. "It says you did an excellent job in math today. That's great." With a puzzled look, Johnathan asked, "What's math?"

Too funny. You just never know what's going to come out of the mouths of your children. It reminds me of a few weeks ago when Lori and I were having a dinner discussion with our kids about the concept of cheating and deceiving others. We talked about how some kids will hide their report cards from their parents when they get bad grades in the hopes that their parents won't find out. Our high achieving daughter, Leah, (who has inherited her mother's talents) blurted out: "Even if I got a really bad grade...like a 93%...I would still tell you guys!"