Monday, January 10, 2011

Michigan Athletic Director Dave Brandon Issues Statement to Fans

In the midst of increasing speculation regarding the state of the University of Michigan football program, U of M athletic director David Brandon (pictured at left) had the following to say at a press conference earlier today:
"Wolverine Fans,

We are part of an institution that has tradition, and that tradition has to be guarded by men who wear the Block ‘M’ proudly. Who's gonna do it? You, Drew Sharp? You, Michael Rosenberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Rodriguez and you curse our defense. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Rodriguez’s firing, while tragic, probably will win us some games. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, may just get us the Mad Hatter. You don't want the truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about on your blogs, you want me as the AD. You need me as the AD! We use words like Victors, Big House, and Big Ten Championships. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to bandwagon fans who rise and sleep under the very Maize and Blue blanket that I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a winged helmet and take a stance in the trenches. Either way, I don't give a wolverine's rear end what you think you are entitled to."
On completion of his comments, Brandon jumped from behind the podium and attacked Mitch Albom.

1 comment:

Crock said...

best. post. ever.

except for all your great ones about what truly matters.