Weekly Web Roundup (1/14/17)

Photo Credit: misha maslennikov

Here is a collection of items from around the web that caught my attention this past week:

The 5 (Unwritten) Rules of Honor-Shame Cultures  (HonorShame.com)

"In collectivistic societies, identity is defined by the group you belong to. When two people meet, one of the first items of conversation is figuring out which family, clan, or village the other person is from. Since honor is a shared commodity, what one person does brings honor (or shame) upon the entire community. Children are taught from an early age how to bring honor to the family, and people are expected to be loyal to their community, even at personal cost. In Western cultures, family is much more of a voluntary association. At the age of 18 or so, young adults are encouraged to venture out from the home to “find themselves” or “establish their own lives.”"

How to Destroy Your Child Through Sports by Ed Uszynski (Athletes in Action)

"In spite of mini-movements of outcry regarding poor parent and coach behavior at youth events and the intense pressure being put on kids to perform, many of us seem committed to staying on a course that ruins our children’s ability to enjoy games. Instead of sports being experienced as something good, a category called “play” that God created for our good and His glory, too often we use our kids’ playground to exorcise our own demons. 

In more than 25 years of listening to athletes from youth to professional levels process their experience of sports, I’ve learned that these parental behaviors can be counted on not only to ruin their experience of play, but also to create multi-layered psychological and spiritual maladies that stick throughout life."

9 Steps to More Ethical Fundraising (A Life Overseas: The Mission Conversation)

"We were doing all the things we were taught to do—pray, write newsletters, make calls, send letters, schedule meetings—but after two years, we felt stuck. We were at about 50% of our goal and couldn’t seem to make any traction. One day, I just felt I needed to do something to make a statement to our potential supporters that we were as serious about this as we possibly could be and that we held them and their potential donations in the highest esteem. So I decided to write down the ways in which we were committing to respect them and their sacrifice. 

I called this our “Fundraising Code of Ethics.” To me, it was a public covenant we were making to hold ourselves to a standard of maturity, transparency, and responsibility. By making it public, we were welcoming our supporters to hold us to this standard, but we also warned them we would never have a perfect record and asked them to be gracious with us. Like every healthy relationship, trust is absolutely crucial. We are all aware if donors trust you they are more likely to support you. What we learned is that we also need to have enough faith in our supporters to be transparent with them."

Racial Divides in Spiritual Practice (The Barna Group)

"Black communities tend toward communal rhythms of spiritual development while white communities prefer a more individualistic setting. It is unsurprising therefore that white Christians are more likely to view their spiritual life as “entirely private” (42% compared to 32%). Black Christians, on the other hand, are much more likely to believe their personal spiritual life has an impact on others—whether they are relatives, friends, community or society at large. For instance, black Christians are much more likely to believe that their personal spiritual lives have an impact on broader society (46% compared to 27%). 

This was a strong belief of Martin Luther King, and it appears to have had great staying power. He fundamentally believed that one’s personal spiritual life had implications for societal justice, and he called Christians—on both sides of the debate—to bring their faith to bear on the struggle for civil rights, to which he dedicated his life. This impact is also tied to the approach to evangelism: half of black Christians (50% compared to 34%) believe it is their responsibility to tell others about their religious beliefs, further reinforcing the public / private contrast between both groups."

The Longstanding Crisis Facing Tribal Schools by Alia Wong (The Atlantic)

"Children who are disciplined in school are far more likely to end up in prison as adults; it goes without saying that being disciplined as a child via formal law enforcement has similarly deleterious, if not worse, effects. The alleged practices at Havasupai Elementary are, the suit contends, characteristic of those at tribal schools across the country. Indeed, a March 2014 U.S. Department of Education report found that Native Americans across the country are disciplined at disproportionate rates. Unsurprisingly, they’re also incarcerated at a rate 38 percent higher than the national average."

Repealing Obamacare without a Replacement: How It May Hurt Small Church Pastors and Church Planters Near You by Ed Stetzer (Christianity Today)

"I’m not defending Obamacare, it’s success, and certainly not its implementation. And, furthermore, this is not just about pastors—it impacts a whole lot of people in your church (and not in your church). But, I’ve talked to a lot of pastors about this topic, so I’ve made that my focus here. In short, the point here is that big policies aren’t simply big policies. And when they appear (or actually are) broken, there isn’t a simple answer. Big policies impact real people. A plan approved by Congress impacts millions of everyday, hard-working people. And I’ve only focused on one group here, small church pastors and church planters, since I have often heard about this from church planters. Actually, I have spoken in conferences on this very topic: how the ACA has opened the door for many church planters to get insurance."

Twin Sisters Separated at Birth Reunite on Good Morning America

Two sisters, each adopted from China by different American families, meet in person for the first time on ABC's "Good Morning America." Here is their touching story.

Weekly Web Roundup (8/13/16)

Photo Credit: danzden

Here are some interesting stories from around the web that I've seen during this past week:

Don't Let Anyone Tell You Adoptive Parents Aren't Parents by Carrie Goldman

American gold medal gymnast Simon Biles is one of the breakout stars of the 2016 Rio Olympics. But NBC commentator Al Trautwig's initial refusal to refer to Biles' adoptive parents as her parents caused quite a stir. This article addresses the importance of language choice when referring to adoptive families.

Racial History of American Swimming Pools from The Bryant Park Project

Americans everywhere rejoiced when Simon Manuel became the first African American swimmer to earn an individual swimming gold medal in the Olympics. For African Americans, the feat was of particularly significance due to the complicated history that the black community has had with America's swimming pools. This feature explains why.

A Letter From Young Asian-Americans To Their Families About Black Lives Matter by Shereen Marisol Meraji and Kat Chow

NPR offers some quality commentary on how many younger Asian Americans find themselves at odds with their parents over their views and engagement with social justices issues, particularly the Black Lives Matter Movement.

The “Dreaded Glenn”: A Response to Ms. Gaye Clark by Bryan Loritts

A post on The Gospel Coalition website earlier this week ignited a controversy when writer Gaye Clark wrote a piece entitled, "When God Sends Your White Daughter a Black Husband." The post has since been removed but the response from Pastor Loritts is worth the read as he explains why he, along with so many others, were troubled by the article.

When Love Fills Your Heart by Dayle Rogers

A friend and co-worker, Michelle Beckman, went home to be with the Lord this week after a courageous several year battle with cancer. Michelle committed the best years of her life to serving middle school and high school students so that they could know the Savior that she loved so dearly. Dayle Rogers writes of her friendship with Michelle and offers a touching tribute highlighting the influence that Michelle's life had on so many.

The Chens Tell A Beautiful Story of Adoption

One of the most moving aspects of becoming a Christian is the experience of having been adopted as a child of God. Adoption provides a beautiful example of what it means to demonstrate God's love in a meaningful and lasting way. Our friends, Dennis & Carita Chen, enjoyed the privilege of having aspects of their adoption journey captured on video. The video takes less than nine minutes and I promise you that your eyes won't be dry after seeing them meet their son, Jacob, for the first time. You can watch it below or by clicking here.

Eat a Frosty, Help Some Kids

You'll have an opportunity this weekend to help orphans with each Frosty purchase that you make at participating Wendy's. In honor of Father's Day, Wendy's is offering to give 50 cents to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's, was himself adopted and started his foundation to help other kids without parents.

This is a great chance to treat your father and to help children that aren't fortunate to currently have a dad in their lives. Another way to contribute is to send your dad a Frosty Father's Day card. Click here to send your dad a Frosty e-card. I hope my kids read this post :)

(Thanks to Steven Curtis Chapman for the tip.)

Adoption Across Racial Lines

While sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic along I-4 in downtown Orlando yesterday, I was listening to the Michael Baisden radio program. The topic of discussion was about the foster care system in America and whether white families should be allowed to adopt black children.

While most callers felt that any loving home willing to open itself up to orphans would be worthwhile, some felt that it would be better for African American children to remain in an orphanage or the foster care system rather than become adopted by white parents.

While I understand the thinking that raises concerns about the realities of black children raised by white parents, I also think the overall needs of the child may be overlooked. A statistic quoted on the program caught my attention. It was stated (and backed up here) that "80% of prison inmates have been through the foster care system!" Did you catch that?! Eight out of every ten prisoners were at one time in the foster care system. In addition, 1 out of every 9 African American males between the ages of 20 to 34 are currently in prison. This is a tragedy that needs to be addressed.

Although some feel the solution to these problems is to hire more cops and build bigger jails, I wonder if a better response can be offered. If it is true that 80% of prisoners come from foster care backgrounds, I would think that if those individuals had been adopted as young children by loving parents then the chances of them escaping a criminal lifestyle would be dramatically reduced.

I have some white friends that have adopted black children and it certainly is not without its challenges. Although my friends, along with others in similar situations, may love their adopted children unconditionally, society is going to look at these children differently. They may get stereotyped or treated differently because their parents look different than them. To ignore the inevitable challenges could create even more difficulties. To naively enter into a trans racial adoption without appropriate training and counseling would be unwise. But in the whole scheme of things, isn't it most important that kids longing for a loving and nurturing home get that opportunity when willing adults step forward and make themselves available?

I have nothing but respect for those individuals that have taken the courageous step of adopting kids that need a home. Who knows, perhaps my wife and I may do the same one day? For those that fault white families for adopting black children, my question would be if they have attempted to adopt those children themselves? If they feel so strongly that black children need to be adopted by black parents then they should follow-through on their convictions. If not, then they should support and encourage those that wish to care for these children. Our personal preferences need to be put aside in favor of the interest of children that need a home.

A Detroit Lion Who Produces

I often hear comments about the number of kids that I have, four, and how hard it must be to remember all their names and that sort of thing. Even though our family of six is above the national average, it is nothing near the size of former Detroit Lion Luther Ellis's brood. He and his wife, Rebecca, have 11 kids!

That's right, they've got enough to field their own football team. As you can see in this photo taken by Willie Archer of the Detroit Free Press, they even seem to like each other :) Free Press columnist Jo-Ann Barnas recently wrote a column on the Ellis family and how they manage their lives with such a large family.

With the negative attention given to NFL players and their run-ins with the law and such, it's nice to see a positive story on one who is a committed husband and father. In addition, it's refreshing to hear something... anything... good connected to the Lions. And just when did the Ellis's decide to have so many kids? Barnas writes:

"Thirteen years ago, Elliss said he and his wife knew they wanted a "good-size family -- at least four or five kids." What was it that more than doubled their thinking? "Life," Elliss said. The couple had never planned to adopt children. But eight years ago, Luther and Rebecca were in Salt Lake City visiting friends when they learned that a healthy baby didn't have an adoptive family because he was biracial. The boy was a week old. They were moved to take action.
"She stayed up for 24 hours doing all the paper work, writing our biographies, making all the calls," Luther said. "In less than a week, we had him in our possession." Rebecca said: "It's so hard to describe the feeling -- it's amazing. Having never adopted before, I wasn't sure how it would be. But it was almost like, the second he was placed in our arms, our hearts just grew. We couldn't stop crying." They named the boy Isaiah. "To see his smile and the kind of character that he has right now, his name fits him," Luther said. "He's a blessing."
From that day forward, Luther and his wife became advocates for adoption. They currently sit on the board of an infant adoption agency in Salt Lake City called "A Act of Love." Rebecca and a friend also recently started a company -- My Abba's Heart -- making and selling jewelry to benefit foster- and global-orphan care. Four of the Ellis's family's last six kids are adopted."

I'm glad to see the model that Luther Ellis and his wife have been in the Detroit community and beyond when it comes to the importance of faith and family. I'd love to see their story featured for a national television audience this Thursday as millions tune in to watch the Lions & Titans on Thansgiving. We shall see.

Pure and Faultless Religion

The apostle James had this to say when referring to pure religion:

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." ~ James 1:27

In our protection of the sanctity of life, we as followers of Christ should also be involved in in caring for those that find themselves in the difficult circumstances of life. While the media might like to focus on what we are opposed to, the Church (members of the body of Christ) selflessly lives out James instructions by caring for widows, orphans, and unwed mothers every day. Lori and I have many friends that have personally become involved in caring for orphans. In fact, two of our friends that stood up in our wedding were adopted themselves.

Check out this important message from Dennis Rainey, director of Family Life, about how Christians can continue to live out "pure and faultless religion":

"For more than 31 years FamilyLife has stood on what the Scriptures teach and have been known by what we are for. We have a history of being known not by what we are against, but for being FOR the biblical definition of marriage, FOR covenant keeping love in marriage, FOR biblical families and FOR the value of all children—born or unborn. It was our commitment of being FOR children that led us to launch our Hope for Orphans ministry in 2003.

For years I have had a conviction that the Christian community not only needed to be pro life, but also pro orphan, pro adoption, and pro foster care. How can we only be for protecting unborn life and not also be FOR finding families for every child who does not have one? That's why I'm writing you to ask you to pray for one of the most important meetings in FamilyLife's 31 years of ministry. Twice in the last three years, FamilyLife has hosted what has become the Adoption Orphan Care Summit. Now, the third Summit in Colorado Springs is bringing more than 300 leaders together, representing some of the nation's most influential Christian adoption agencies and orphan advocacy groups.

On May 9-11 we will meet to learn how we can encourage and equip churches to take the lead in meeting the needs of orphans. There are now an estimated 143 million orphans in the world—that's greater than the combined population of the 20 largest cities in the United States. Over 500,000 children in America are in foster homes, including more than 120,000 who could be adopted today. I believe one of the most desperate needs in our world today is to love and care for these children. I believe that followers of Christ should be the first to reach out to orphaned and abandoned children around the world. Yet many are unaware of the great need, or of God's call for the church to be actively involved in helping the fatherless.

God is already at work, and I'm inviting you to join me in asking the Heavenly Father, Who reached down and adopted us, to do exceedingly more than we can even ask or think. It's easy to forget that each and every one of these children is precious to the Savior. Throughout Scripture we see God as "the helper of the orphan" (Psalm 10:14). I am convinced that Christians should be leading the international dialogue about our responsibility to provide a home and a family for those who have none. That's why FamilyLife started Hope for Orphans—as an educating and exhorting ministry dedicated to supporting and helping the fatherless and connecting those children with loving, Bible-believing families.

Next week's conference has grown from a partnership with groups like Focus on the Family, Saddleback Church, and Shaohannah's Hope. The Adoption Orphan Care Summit has turned into a strategic gathering of like-minded organizations that has the fingerprints of God all over it.

Please join me in praying:

• For Paul Pennington and the FamilyLife Hope for Orphans team—for energy, leadership and wisdom as they serve others at the Adoption Orphan Care Summit.
• That the conference will be effective in unifying these organizations to come together prayerfully and join God in what He is already doing. We know that where God goes, there is also a counter-spirit.
• Pray that Satan will have no part in what goes on next week in Colorado.
• Ask God to raise up tens of thousands of churches and hundreds of thousands of lay men and women to establish orphan care, adoption, and foster care ministries.
• The Summit is not only attracting Christian leaders, but it's also getting the notice of the national media. An Associated Press story has shown up in dozens of newspapers across the country. Pray that media coverage of the event will be positive and will accurately portray the spirit of the participants.
• Finally, pray that the Lord will continue to expand this movement to ultimately touch the heart of every fatherless child for His glory"

How might you be involved?

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