Saturday, January 28, 2012

Why Single Women Need To Wait For The Right Man

Photo Credit: de.laina
Here are some challenging thoughts from Ruthie Dean urging single women to wait on the right mate by being the right mate:
"As women, I believe we in part perpetuate the man-boy problem by failing to hold the highest standards for ourselves, standards God desires for us. I recently heard a friend complaining that she couldn’t get Phillip* to call her. Two minutes later, she responded to his text, “Wanna watch a movie at my house?” in the affirmative. I’ve seen it too many times—brilliant, accomplished, God-fearing women making excuses for the players and the deadbeats and the guy who aren’t interested in anything more than sex. A lot of us have been there. We’re strong. We aren’t settling. And then we lose sight of what’s important and start “hanging out with” that guy. If a man can’t call to ask you on a date, he’s certainly not going to man-up and put a ring on your finger. 
The arguably most dangerous way women are contributing to the man-boy problem is in regards to sex. Oftentimes, women, including Christians, go further physically than they want to, hoping that their prowess will help them ‘catch a man’ when in fact, the opposite happens. Sex gives men the benefits without the promise of commitment and fidelity. Sure, there won’t be as many guys lining up to date you, but marriage will be a different story. Keeping the highest sexual purity standards will ensure he isn’t dating you just because he likes seeing you naked—and keep his intentions honorable. 
Another way women perpetuate the problem comes with the well-at-least-he’s-better-than _____ game. My hairdresser told me yesterday she had a hard time ending a relationship with a non-Christian, because the last Christian she dated had sent her pornographic text messages. Infuriating! However, standards should not be created based on the worst examples but instead on what God deems right. 
Many women also fall prey to the lie that dating or hanging out with “that guy” does not hold future implications. I found this especially true in college when friends (and myself, ahem) would date Mr. Text or Mr. I Don’t Believe in Organized Religion believing we could end the relationships as soon as someone better came along. However many of my friends are still entangled with or damaged by these men—especially in cases where sex was involved. By dating or playing around with the wrong men, we are essentially displaying mistrust in God’s plan and harming ourselves when the right man comes along. Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church, challenges singles: “Become the right person the right person is looking for.” A woman who dates placeholder men is most likely not who “Mr. Right” is looking for."
To read the rest of the article "Real Women Don't Text Back" please click here.


haley dawn said...

I love this! It is something more women need to be aware of, because many of us, including myself, have been/are being sucked into this. Many not even realizing the motives of certain men! Thank you for saying something so hopefully more women will second guess their relationships! I

Unknown said...

This has been my life since I started working at the county. I have gone my whole life not being seen by men and I start working at the jail and every other guy tryin to holla. 2 are married and old and the one thats single and my age is too much of a coward to ask me out and definitely has made several sexual comments and moves...too much. Doesnt he know the man that seduces a virgin is cursed?? Anywho great article and great reminder as to why we should hold out and wait on the Lord. I have really got to stop venting on your blogs Scott. Sorry.